One Last Song
What makes a good song to play at a funeral?
19 Apr 2025Okay yeah look, this is a bit of a morbid concept for a blog post. If I’m being honest, I don’t even really like thinking about the crushing finality that comes with a funeral. But also, I have to admit that I am fascinated about the process of picking a song for such a sombre event. It’s really easy to make a playlist full of bangers or that follows some kind of theme, but I don’t think many people think about picking out the last song they’ll ever “hear”. So let’s talk about it - what makes a good song to play at a funeral?
When do we play songs at a funeral?
An important baseline to set here is when do we expect the song to play at a funeral. In all the ones I’ve attended where they do play music, it tends to be during the following scenarios:
- While people come in before the funeral starts
- During a “reflection” period, often accompanied by a photo slideshow of their life
- While the casket is being carried out/as the service ends
We’re focusing on the “last song” aspect, so we’re going to only think about those last two scenarios.
Why do we play songs?
The why is obviously an extremely important factor in choosing a last song. I assume playing music has a historical precedent from church hymns and it’s a tradition that we’ve adapted from that. In a wider context, I think music is the ultimate tone setter in any setting. It’s an easy way to set the scene for what you want a service to be. The right song can evoke feelings of sadness and melancholy, or make you remember the person in a happier light than perhaps they ended in.
So, what makes a good song to play at a funeral?
With the when and why established, we can finally start answering the what. To me, what makes a good song to play at a funeral is defined by three key factors: vibe, content and length.
Vibe is often the hardest thing to define but I think in this context, it’s easy to grasp. How do you want the song to make people feel? Generally you kinda want something puts you into a sombre and reflective that can play while looking back on fond memories and photos. That’s not to say that you can’t have something a bit more upbeat, but you’re not going to play anything that would make you want to get up and dance unless you’re really angling for the celebration aspect of a celebration of life. You also probably don’t want anything that draws attention to itself, like a song with a catchy hook.
An important call to make as well is if you want to go religious with it or not. It’s not necessarily an all or nothing scenario but it would feel weird to have Ave Maria fade into a rendition of My Heart Will Go On.
With the general vibe established, now we have to think about content. If a song has lyrics, they need to somewhat match the setting. There are tons of songs with sad vibes that don’t really work in a funeral setting, like Yusuf / Cat Steven’s Father and Son. The conversation between the two is emotionally charged for sure but it doesn’t really feel it matches what you want for a funeral. Johnny Cash’s rendition of Hurt is another example where despite it being a song with sad and reflective vibes (especially if you watch the music video for it), I think the lyrics have this theme of the inevitable finality and futility of life which isn’t what you want when you’re remembering someone.
Another thing to avoid for content is what I call the “Hey Ya! at Weddings Dilemma”. Outkast’s Hey Ya! is a song about about a strained relationship and doubts about it even continuing, but the lyrics are performed over upbeat production and has an infectious hook. Vibe wise, it makes you want to dance but content wise brother why would you ever want to play that at a wedding. The same is true for any song you’d play at a funeral. You’d have to make sure whatever you’re playing isn’t in bad taste lyrics wise - like you don’t want to play Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ Otherside for someone who struggled with addiction.
The last factor is length. The right song can’t be too short, especially if it’s being played while the casket is being carried to the hearse. The Beatles’ Golden Slumbers is a good funeral pick but also if it’s the only song you play you’re pretty much asking the pallbearers to hoof it down the aisle to reach the hearse. You need something with a bit of running time that can play while people follow the casket out. Sticking with The Beatles, something like The Long and Winding Road would fit a lot better, with a runtime of just under 4 minutes you can probably clear out most of a service before the song ends. If a song is too long that’s okay, you can just fade it out as whatever is happening ends, although it would be nice for a photo slideshow to have emotional climax tied to an ending of a song so your mileage may vary depending on what you’re trying to achieve.
There’s one consistent exception to all of the above, which is you should do whatever you think best represents the person who’s died and your memories of them. Ultimately, who cares about vibe or content if you know their favourite song goes against those rules. While writing this, I reached out to a couple of funeral homes to see if they had any insight into common tracks played during services. I only got one response from James Mason who works at Le Pine Funerals (#NotSponsored), and he mentioned that in Victoria there’s a lot of footy songs that get played. That goes against everything I said but also probably feels so right for those funerals.
So, we’ve established all these rules. The question has to be asked, what do I think is a good song to play at a funeral? While writing this, I put together a little Spotify playlist of other songs I came across that I thought would be good fit for funeral songs. Special shout out to Tiff for her selection of the Peggy Lee rendition of The Party’s Over.
In my opinion, the perfect funeral song is Frank Sinatra’s My Way. I am sure it overplayed but come on, it hits everything you’d want it to. It’s reflective but not overly sad, it’s easy to draw parallels to any life well lived, and since it’s used for funerals already, you won’t be ruining it for anyone.
I have to admit though, My Way would not be my choice for my own funeral. I’d want to have Johnny Cash’s version of We’ll Meet Again played at some point, probably during the remembrance section. Since I first heard it, I always thought it was very fitting for a funeral, especially in the meta sense of it being the last song off his last non posthumous album, American IV. I can’t claim to be a particularly religious man or anything, but I think a promise to meet again even after death is something we’d all like to hear when trying to make peace with losing a loved one. And hey, maybe if we’re lucky, maybe it’ll come true.